I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
we should paint friendship bongs
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
