i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
