So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
