Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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