I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
