I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
