I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
