I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
