So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
