Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
In America we eat man semen.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
