Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
