I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
