Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
