I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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