So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
two words: eviction party
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
