Tell her she can't have a vagina
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
