I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
