Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
