that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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