Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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