he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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