it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize