I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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