it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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