how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
