Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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