PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
