I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
