I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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