well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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