the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
