his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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