girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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