So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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