He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
even my farts smell like vagina
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
