I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
