Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
