i would punch a child for taco bell
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
