This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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