Your dad touched me again.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
