we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
