they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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