There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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