I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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