I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
