Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
