So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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