we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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