the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Life is so much better after having sex.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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