I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
