dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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