I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
home. puking in laundry basket.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
