I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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