Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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