if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
