No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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