3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
