Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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