please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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